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Ghost
I thought I was whole but it was only a mask. I thought I was complete but all I had was a shell. I thought I was living but I was asleep the whole time. I thought my life was real. I thought I was real. Then I broke. And I woke. And life is a nightmare that would never quite commit itself, Pulling back just when it was right over the edge, And the abyss grins like an invitation. Love, it turns out, is optional. Not a given, Like batteries they are not included but you can't
Marichit Garcia
Oct 181 min read


Daily Page, the First of October
How is it suddenly October? But I like October. I like the idea of Samhain. Of witches and thinning veils between worlds. Of autumn,...
Marichit Garcia
Oct 14 min read


A Daily Page, the end of September
I am writing this simply to write. I have no theme or topic. This is merely an adaptation of Julia Cameron's Morning Pages, except that I...
Marichit Garcia
Sep 304 min read


Storytelling
I have my luck, and then I have my misfortune. My life has been an endless rollercoaster. The pandemic feels like a distant memory, yet its impact lingers. It has twisted my life into tricky knots. Loose ends trip me up, often where it hurts the most. Resilience is becoming an ugly word. It’s heavy. It carries weight. Knowing better comes with consequences. There are trade-offs, endless bargaining with many variations of the devil. I often find myself at crossroads or dead en
Marichit Garcia
Sep 292 min read


Thoughts While Taking Care of my Dad at a Public Hospital
Private versus public. Rich versus poor. Privileged versus the disadvantaged. Somehow in the course of my strange and dysfunctional life...
Marichit Garcia
Aug 243 min read


Black Sheep
Photo by Jonathan Mabey  on Unsplash I am up and out of bed. I congratulate myself. Usually I would still be there, nursing a cooling mug...
Marichit Garcia
Aug 164 min read


Waiting for the Meds to Kick In
I actually wanted to read but I realized I'm more tired than I think. I wanted to write by hand in my journal but I am too tired to set...
Marichit Garcia
Aug 123 min read


Knocked Down Dead for a Week Then Resurrected
I am writing this with my brand-new keyboard which is more of an emotional necessity than a functional one. I am also writing this in the...
Marichit Garcia
Aug 124 min read


Octopus Award and other things
I won a recognition award at the office townhall yesterday. It was the Octopus Award. Because I was the person who was involved in almost...
Marichit Garcia
Aug 23 min read


Monster Season Back Too Soon
The monster has returned. It wears the face of obligation, the skin of expectation, the breath of never-enough. It knocks on the door...
Marichit Garcia
Jul 261 min read


Drowning
Sunday. The sacred sigh of the week. And yet here I am, not wrapped in dream-rich reverie or trailing ink into something that might...
Marichit Garcia
Jul 202 min read


Midyear Muddle
Photo by Michael Wave  on Unsplash I had hoped for it to be a midyear restart, recalibration, refresh, revolution. But as I type this I...
Marichit Garcia
Jul 183 min read


A Forced Stop
Photo by Nick Fewings  on Unsplash I thought I could push through. Friday morning, I woke up feeling off. My skin felt too warm, I had...
Marichit Garcia
Mar 174 min read


Living in a Sinkhole Household
Photo by Maxim Tolchinskiy  on Unsplash The term "sinkhole household" perfectly captures the feeling. It’s not a regular house or a home....
Marichit Garcia
Mar 113 min read


From Barely Surviving the Weekend to a Monday That Almost Broke Me Again
I barely made it through the weekend, but I did. It wasn’t perfect, but there were moments. I had a moment at the therapist's when I...
Marichit Garcia
Mar 102 min read


The Slow Return: Navigating the Push and Pull of Daily Life
Photo by Angel Luciano  on Unsplash There’s a kind of heaviness that sits with you when you return from a trip. It’s more than the weight...
Marichit Garcia
Feb 272 min read


Finding Work-Life Harmony: Reflections on My Last Day in Japan
At Kenrokuen in Kanazawa I'm sitting in my quiet room at The Royal Park Hotel in Shiodome. I savor these last few hours with a soy latte...
Marichit Garcia
Feb 255 min read


Birthday Eve
Tonight, on the eve of my birthday, I sit at the crossroads of looking back and looking forward—one foot still tangled in the weight of...
Marichit Garcia
Feb 132 min read


A Little Bit of Magic
There’s something deeply human about the need to impose order on chaos. When life begins to fray at the edges—when work becomes a knot of...
Marichit Garcia
Feb 112 min read


The Relief of the First Mistake
Photo by Etienne Girardet  on Unsplash There’s a strange kind of peace that comes with finally making your first real mistake. Not the...
Marichit Garcia
Feb 82 min read