Octopus Award and other things

I won a recognition award at the office townhall yesterday. It was the Octopus Award. Because I was the person who was involved in almost every project and yet I always delivered.

Yesterday was also a whole lot of other things. Getting a little bit drunk on a single bottle of Tanduay Ice (Vodka Lemonade which tasted sooooo good.) (I was not supposed to drink because I am actually allergic to alcohol.) It was good being with the team. The chemistry is good. I feel much hope, finally. I finished a very tough report in time. I realized how much value I have been giving and how much more I have to give. All good things take time. I was super touched when my team bought me an iced oolong tea. We had a good internal launch of our proprietary survey tool. I was heartwarmed by moments with a kindred spirit. I am fortunate in having good people in my team. I am fortunate that my bosses are people I can genuinely admire and look up to and actually enjoy working with. I am fortunate that I am part of a management that cultivates the kind of culture I can thrive in. I sent many messages of appreciation to various people. I did a lot of little extras even without any sleep the night before.

(Aaaah yes, it looks like I am on an upswing in my bipolar mood. Better make the most of it.)

I finally got a nice "client meeting" bag. I bought something local and handmade and colorful and pretty much aligned with my inner forest vibes. I need new clothes for work. Everything is pre-pandemic old and it shows. Not in style but in worn-out-ness which makes a few pieces ill-fitting or uncomfortable or both. Which wreaks havoc on my neurodivergent sensory issues.

I have temporarily resolved a money problem and will have to face the hard consequences of it in the coming months hahaha! But more than that I am, again, starting over, this second half of the year. With a team slowly falling into its place, I can perhaps take back all the extra time owed me. I want to cook delicious healthy meals everyday. I want to slow down my life, my whole life, including my work. I want time to be me again. I want space and energy to focus on becoming again.

I am back on regular reading. I am actually holding back a reading rage mood. I need to channel some of it to art making. I need to open the fund-raising art shop. I want to carve more rubber stamps. I want to play around with the lightbox I recently bought to take nice photos of the art items I want to sell on the shop. I want to wear my Blackwing pencils to the nub with countless drawings and sketches. I want to fill up every page of my ridiculously many notebooks with words and images and found objects and found loves and magic.

I want a whole new wardrobe that is all who I am and who I wish to become. Last night I saw from a video that my hair is no longer salt and pepper but has already gone silver. I want to dress up for it. Bring out all the magic from within.